How To Get Over Being Dumped - Relationship Rejection

 How To Deal With Being Dumped Or Rejected By Your Crush 

Hurricanes are the worst. Even if they don't get to you, they still pose a threat to your security. We are a little more brave this year after surviving Mother Nature's attack last year. It's not much, but it's something. I'd like to meet the individual who irritated her (Mother Nature). She not only avenges herself, but she does so with a vengeance. That's like a mash-up of PMS and Menopause. So, if you're going through PMS or Menopause and have no idea what you're getting yourself into, imagine hurricane. It has the ability to turn on you in a split second and destroy you. Oh, and it goes by many names, too, including bitch, nag, crazy, nuts, obnoxious, feminine, insane, messed up, hallucinating, on drugs, stupid bitch, mentally challenged, and that's just a few.

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Now, let's move on to more serious topics.

I received a question from a man today. Here's what he had to say:

My most recent relationship was with a woman who was pretty egotistical.

So, why did she abandon me?"

And this was my response to him:

Hello there, I'm sorry to hear you were dumped. It's difficult to respond to that question because I don't know either of you. There are a variety of reasons why people end a relationship. It's possible that it was simply worn out. They might have also found someone else. In any case, it's unpleasant, and you must learn to cope with the discomfort and get on with your life. It's a challenge, but it makes you conscious of what it means to be human. There's a proverb that goes, "If it doesn't kill you, It will only strengthen you." In addition, I am a great believer in the phrase "things happen for a reason". Hold on, things will improve if you let them to. Take care, and I appreciate you sharing that information with me."

"Being Dumped" is one of the worst sensations that we, as humans, endure in our life, short of death. They claim it's easier to learn to live with the death of a loved one than a break-up, "Being Dumped," or rejection.

All of the preceding indicate that we are extremely unacceptable to someone. We immediately blame ourselves for it, and the germ of self-criticism is sown. We begin to experience shame as a result of self-blame. Shame is so awful that no one wants to talk about it or even consider it. Because we are ashamed of our shame, shame is the least recognized emotion we as humans cope with. Shame is another another unpleasant emotion that holds us captive in a pit of torment. It draws us into a life of silence and passivity, luring us into lying about and disguising our genuine worries. When we are rejected in any setting, our self-esteem takes a serious knock. If we are lacking in that area, we will have a difficult time falling. We will swiftly deteriorate if we are strong in that area. In a previous blog, I stated:

"When we first fall in love, what is it that they say about love being blind?" Ha! That's amusing, since it is truly blind. We put our trust in people so quickly and so completely that we may be setting ourselves up for the worst fall of our life. What is the reason for this? Is it because we are compelled by nature to trust others? Is it really a happier, smoother way of life to trust someone?"

So there you have it: we humans exist to love and to be loved. The allure of the term "LOVE" has misled us. The word "LOVE" makes us happy, but it also makes us sad. So, why do we keep setting ourselves up for failure? We are gambling without even realizing it. Or is life merely a game of chance? The basic issue is that no one wants to be "DUMPED," because accepting it is not in our nature. How many of you have been "DUMPED" and felt as if your life had come to a halt? You just knew nothing would ever be the same after that. You were partially correct in that regard. It's much like any other shift we've experienced in our lives. Things will not be the same as we are accustomed to. 

Your life hasn't come to an end. Yes, your relationship with a person has ended, and it was unexpected, but neither are hurricanes or wars. We have to deal with everything. We made the decision to live. Consider it the start of a new life. Newness is uplifting and beneficial. Take a fresh look at things and welcome all of the newness. 

It is nothing to be afraid about. "BEING DUMPED" is simply another chapter in your life's story. Consider how boring your book would be if there were no chapters. Now you can move on to the next chapter, and believe me, there are a lot of them. 

Think about it: if you spend the rest of your life wondering "WHY?", you've wasted even more of your valuable time on something that has chosen a different path. The fact that a person is full of themselves has nothing to do with the "Whys" of "Being Dumped." Even the most self-assured people close relationships. They, in fact, have more courage to do so than someone who is less confident or, to put it another way, less full of themselves. Who can say? All we know is that a decision has been made, and you, as an intelligent individual, must turn the page. 

Getting stuck in that feeling only enriches therapists. (wink) Life is full of humps and bumps. Over and over, we trip and fall. The key is to practice picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt.

This is how it is. When my daughter was hit by her first cupid's arrow, I told her, "If you're going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's called life! One thing we must remember is that when we are at our lowest and believe we are worthless and will never TRUST again, we are experiencing nothing more than a human emotion. Doubt is what we call it. We can easily overcome doubt.

Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are UNIQUE and that happiness is your goal. To achieve that goal, you must take all of the risks. Allowing yourself to believe that you are deserving of another relationship is a risk, a gamble. But what is life if not a little danger? We have the ability to transcend our negative selves. All we have to do now is DO IT!!

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