Tips On How To Build Self Esteem

 Tips On How To Build Self Esteem

I've had a lot of confidence issues in my life, all of which I've dealt with or overcome. I've written about some of these issues in the sections below.

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BALD PATCH

Even though it may appear insignificant to some, I was born with a bald patch the size of a ten pence piece. As I grew older, especially during my adolescence, I became increasingly self-conscious and paranoid about it.

It was especially noticeable when it rained or when I went swimming because my hair got wet. People at school would mock me, and I was constantly trying to hide and cover the bald patch, despite the fact that most people were aware of it.

When people laughed at me, it hurt, and I eventually stopped swimming.

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HEIGHT OF MINE

I am the shortest of my close male family and friends, standing at 5ft 4in. This should not have affected my confidence, but with people constantly looking down on me, it did. I've been called many things, the nicest of which is "Shorty." I was always envious of people who were taller than me. I hoped that one day I'd have a late growth spurt. This never happened.

My height had an impact on my athletic performance. I wanted to play football as a striker, but the coaches only wanted people over 6ft tall. At snooker, I'm constantly forced to use the rest, which makes it difficult to play to my best ability, and at tennis, I'm constantly lobbed. It also meant that I only felt comfortable dating women 5ft 3 and under, which significantly reduced the available market.

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MY BODY WEIGHT

I was extremely skinny in high school. This could have been due to my parents becoming vegetarian when I was twelve years old. There were few substitute foods available at the time, and it appeared that we went from eating meat and two vegetables to eating only two vegetables.

Because my parents prepared the food, I had no choice but to become a vegetarian as well. After a few weeks, I approached them and expressed my desire to eat meat again. They expressed some understanding and said:

"You cook it if you want it."

At this age, I could only be bothered to cook properly a few days a week, and that became less and less as time went on.

People called me names like skin and bone at school, and my weight became another source of paranoia for me.

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STUTTERING

I started stuttering when I was four years old. Even though my parents were told that I would grow out of it, it became increasingly worse as I grew older.

Reading from a book at school, answering questions, saying my name and address, ordering items at a bar or restaurant, and speaking on the phone became a constant battle for me.

It was a frustrating impediment because I appeared to be able to speak fluently to people I knew well and with whom I felt at ease, but I couldn't say a word at other times, especially when under duress.

After eleven months of pure hard work and practice, I was able to overcome my stutter at the age of twenty-two, and I now help other people who stutter as well as people with confidence issues achieve fluency.

Sponsor : Learn how social anxiety is treated and how to overcome your quietness with Sean Cooper, a former social anxiety sufferer. Erase your insecurities and be confident around people using proven psychology.

MY INABILITY TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING

In some areas, I've always had a skepticism.

I'd see a female in a bar, for example, and want to approach her and talk to her, but I'd think to myself, "I'm not good enough; why would she be interested in me?" I stutter, have a bald patch, work at a low-wage job, and am extremely frail.

Even if I succeed in approaching her, I will be expected to buy her a drink, possibly call her, possibly meet her parents, and possibly marry her! The prospect of attempting these things while stuttering and lacking social confidence was far too intimidating for me.

I dropped out of school at sixteen due to a lack of confidence and a stutter, but then had difficulty finding work. My lack of faith shone through once more. Who wants to hire someone with a stutter, a lack of confidence, and a fear of social situations?

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MY PROFESSION

I had to find work after graduating from high school at the age of sixteen. With a stutter and a general lack of confidence, work involving the phone or regular interaction with other people were out of the question.

I decided I could probably handle filing duties in an office and eventually got a job at an insurance company.

I began at the lowest level, grade two, and the work was routine and mundane. Six months was the average time spent at this level before being promoted. The grade three post required us to share a phone, which I found extremely difficult to use.

To be promoted, you had to apply in writing to the personal officer, and if you passed the interview, you were promoted. My attitude was that if I didn't apply, I'd be stuck as a grade two, which was exactly what I wanted. I was most likely the only person in the country who refused to be promoted.

My boss would ask me why I wasn't applying at regular intervals, and I would make up an excuse. I took the insurance exams to appease him. After three years, I had finished the first qualification, which consisted of a series of five exams. To my horror, my boss congratulated me and informed me that he was promoting me to grade three status effective Monday, without the need for an interview.

This promotion should have given me more confidence, but with my stuttering out of control under pressure and some of my colleagues mocking me, I became increasingly withdrawn and depressed.

I would be invited to social events and would make up reasons why I couldn't go because I didn't believe I could handle the occasion and all the socializing involved.

Sponsor : Learn how social anxiety is treated and how to overcome your quietness with Sean Cooper, a former social anxiety sufferer. Erase your insecurities and be confident around people using proven psychology.