Acceptance Therapy - How To Accept Myself

Acceptance Therapy - How To Accept Myself

First, I wondered, when does one begin to yearn for acceptance? Is it at the time of our birth? Is it when we first experience the agony of rejection? Is it when we start being challenged in sports? Is it when we succumb to the much-discussed 'peer pressure'? Is this what happens when we fall in love? Is it the first day of a new job? Is it when we become a new family member? Is it when we relocate to a new town or country? Is it when we publish our first book?

I believe it is all of the above; when people feel the need to be accepted, they will go to great lengths to achieve their goal. Athletes and bodybuilders will use drugs to win...because winning equals acceptance. When we fall in love, our entire being craves acceptance from our mate.

Authors will spend hours and hours writing the perfect words to please their readers, and they will go to great lengths to publish their work. Whether through marriage or adoption, becoming a new member of a family creates a desire to be nurtured as one who truly belongs.

Starting a new job is a definite acceptance need; we need to fit in so that we can relax and give our all to our work. Moving to a new country, city, or even just a new neighborhood is extremely difficult for us, and being accepted and fitting in is a critical step in our adjustment.

Let's not forget 'Peer Pressure.' This is a difficult one; children just starting high school suffer the most from it because their hormones are swinging and their emotions are so sensitive. The fears that they have struggled with for a year are all in the open, and they have a lot of reality to deal with. It is more than half the battle for them to fit in and be accepted by their peers.

When we are babies, we have a strong desire to be accepted and to see our parents smile when we please them.

For the first time, the pain of rejection cuts like a knife. It wounds us for life, leaving a scar that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives.

All of these concerns, needs, and desires are present in all of us who live and breathe. Some of us have a stronger desire for acceptance than others. Some of us are so desperate for acceptance that we become obsessed with it, doing anything we can to fit in.

Do you read the words “self esteem” in anything I have written here today. Yup and it is in every sentence. The need for acceptance somehow effects our self-esteem which in turns affects our emotional stability where jealousy , worry and anxiety seed from.. If you know the feeling of non-acceptance or low self-esteem, then you know how controlled you are by the worry that follows them and how much of your life is imprisoned by that other mind.

Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are manifestations of 'another mind,' and one can actually feel them at odds. It reminds me of the scenario of the good devil and the bad devil. It's no fun for the person who is imprisoned by it; not only do they have to balance the two minds, but they also have the guilt that they feel when they see what the outcome of the battle in their heads is doing to the people around them. The constant questions that one faces, as in my blog FEELINGS!!!!, add to the already lonely and tortured person's misery.

So, if you know someone who suffers from non-acceptance or low self-esteem, hug them and please try to be more patient and understand that they are not having a picnic and that if simply saying "stop it" or "just don't think about it" could stop it, they would do it in a heartbeat. To get through our lows, we all need support and acceptance. Kicking someone when they're down never helps them get back up.